Mark you ballots, cast your votes For Father of the Year; William Allen Cunningham Should win, it’s very clear. He lives in Georgia with his kids And we suspect a wife; Like many folks, provide he’d like, For them a better life. So Billy Boy, he hatched a plan, By which to get some dough; Campbell’s Soup he would extort And make some money flow. He laced the soup he gave his kids With goodies he had found; Lighter fluid and Prozac pills ‘Til they were doctor bound. Twice the kids were hospitalized To convalesce and mend, While daddy wrote a little note To Campbell’s that he’d send. He threatened to indict their firm To settle up the score; But Daddy’s plan unraveled soon When cops came to his door. Extortion is a Federal crime, Convicted him they did; And Clayton County’s after him For cruelty to a kid. Too bad for him he’ll not be there To see them stand and cheer, When the votes are tallied up For Father of the Year.