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Day: June 14, 2022

Father of the Year

Mark you ballots, cast your votes
  For Father of the Year;
William Allen Cunningham
  Should win, it’s very clear.

He lives in Georgia with his kids
  And we suspect a wife;
Like many folks, provide he’d like, 
  For them a better life.

So Billy Boy, he hatched a plan,
  By which to get some dough;
Campbell’s Soup he would extort
   And make some money flow.

He laced the soup he gave his kids
  With goodies he had found;
Lighter fluid and Prozac pills
  ‘Til they were doctor bound.

Twice the kids were hospitalized
  To convalesce and mend,
While daddy wrote a little note
  To Campbell’s that he’d send. 

He threatened to indict their firm
  To settle up the score;
But Daddy’s plan unraveled soon
  When cops came to his door.

Extortion is a Federal crime,
  Convicted him they did;
And Clayton County’s after him
  For cruelty to a kid.

Too bad for him he’ll not be there
  To see them stand and cheer,
When the votes are tallied up
  For Father of the Year. 
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