I’m fixin’ up my favorite feast To feast upon tonight; Concocted culinarily, A sensory delight. Purloining each ingredient, The finest to be found, Hand selected from the shelves Of gourmands world ‘round. Preparing every element, ‘Til trimmed and washed and weighed; Discarding parts and keeping parts - The parts that make the grade. Expectation welling up, My tongue will have to wait; Anticipating what’s to come I pant and salivate. I’ll cut a head of cauliflower Into bite-sized bits, And place into some Tupperware With lid that burps and fits. I’ll opened up an envelope Of Lipton’s Onion Soup; And pour it into sour cream And make some dipping goop. I’ll light a candle in the room, The mood with Muzak set, And go to change the clothes I wear - A suit and tie I’ll get. Properly attired then I’ll sit and stuff my face, With morsels of the cauliflower On which the dip I place. Emeril and Julia, Their gourmet fare but fair; It pales by comparison To Le Chef Extraordinaire.