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Day: September 25, 2021

Left of Here

There once was a fellow, James Key,
All British and crumpet and tea;
  He had an odd job
  Controlling the mob
That frequented pubs where he’d be.

For reasons unknown at this time,
He was dressed as a chicken in mime,
  When he did the absurd
  While dressed as a bird
And committed an odd little crime.

In pursuit of a woman and man,
He chased ‘em as from him they ran.
  Out into the street,
  He’d catch them (he’s fleet),
And that’s where the troubles began.

Benjamin Miller’s left ear
Was eaten by James. Rather queer.
  By the time he’d withdrawn,
  The ear was all gone,
Now he’s left with one ear left to hear.

Mr. Key’s locked away in a jail,
Fifteen months, he’ll do time for the tale.
  But the food he will get
  Is a much better bet
When weighed on a carnivore’s scale.
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