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Day: September 12, 2020

Dead Lawyer Society

A tendency they have to sue,
A lawyer’s finally got his due;
Bit off more than he could chew;
Repaid in kind for things they do.
He took his trousers to be cleaned,
Dropped ‘em off to be machined;
When he returned to reconvene
A fate he faced quite unforeseen.
The cleaner’s work was done with pride,
Pressed the pants all washed and dried.
But when the pants the lawyer eyed,
“Those aren’t mine!” the lawyer cried. 
Citing then a D.C. law,
He sunk his teeth and every claw
Into the cleaner’s blood to draw
Every penny that he saw.
On the books in ol’ D. C.,
Consumer Laws that guarantee
Satisfaction by degree;
Off to court to make his plea.
All the years of guarantee,
No satisfaction found had he;
He calculates the penalty -
Fifty million it should be.
That’s the number on the suit,
He sues the cleaner for the loot.
Fifty million, in pursuit -
Lawyers earn their ill repute
The little man in court would pace
Back and forth, while laws disgrace,
Toiled to common sense erase
Before the judge who heard the case.
The testimony would accrue,
All the while the anger grew
Within the judge, who tried the true,
Before he’d gavel what he’d do.
The verdict lay before the court,
The lawyer’s pay day he’d abort;
Admonishing the scurrilous tort
The lawyer’s case the judge would thwart.
The judge then ruled the lawyer pay
The cleaner back that he’d waylaid.
In his defense the cleaner paid
Tens of thousands for the fray.
Fifty million for some pants?
His rotting corpse should feed the plants.
Spread some honey, I’ll get the ants -
A lawyer dead’s a world enhanced.
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